![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
[fic] Beep beep beep~ (part 5)
Fandom: Cultivation Chat Group (novel)
Characters: White Two, Song Shuhang, Lady Onion, Senior White, Nine Provinces Number One Group
Rating: T
A certain mysterious senior joins the chat group. Oh, and so does Lady Onion. Set during some vague time after ~chapter 1592
Beep beep beep~
Chapter 5: Chat Log Only Extra
[System notification: A welcome to ‘Lady Onion’ who just joined the ‘Nine Provinces Number One Group’.]
[System notification: A welcome to ‘beep beep beep’ who just joined the ‘Nine Provinces Number One Group’.]
True Monarch Northern River: Eh, someone new has joined the group? Oh, it’s Lady Onion. Haha, Lady Onion, did little friend Shuhang finally get you your own phone? 😉
Fairy Lychee: Wow, two at once? Lately, we’ve really had a lot of people joining the group. Hello, Lady Onion! Welcome to the group. 😁
Phoenix Saber Jasmine: Oh, Eighth Cultivator of True Virtue, you’re also here? Wait, I’ll be sending you a friend request.
Eighth Cultivator of True Virtue, Lady Onion: Thank you, Senior Yellow Mountain, for letting me join the group. Hello, everyone! Hehe, replying to Senior Northern River, this little onion has stolen Shuhang’s phone and now it’s mine to do with as I please. You’ll never see him in here again~ 😈
True Monarch Northern River: Great job, Lady Onion! You did well. 👍
Young Master Phoenix Slayer: You did well +1.
Fairy Lychee: You did well +2.
Thrice Reckless Mad Saber: You did well +3.
Fifth Stage Great Monster Doudou: You did well +4.
Great Master Profound Principle: 👍
Tyrannical Song: Lady Onion, stop talking nonsense. Great Master, when did I ever wrong you?
Young Master Phoenix Slayer: Shuhang, when have you not wronged every single person in this group?
Great Master Profound Principle: 😌🙏
[Tyrant Flood Dragon wants to father a football team is online.]
Tyrannical Song: 👋 Senior Phoenix Slayer, our friendship is over.
Fairy Enchanting Moonlight [Soft Feather]: 🤣🤣🤣 Senior Song, you’re always so popular.
Thrice Reckless Mad Saber: Huh, who’s this other fellow daoist? Their name is just a bunch of beeps?
Thrice Reckless Mad Saber: Did your name get censored? Your dao name’s just a bunch of cursing?
True Monarch Northern River: I think that this shouldn’t be a dao name but just a nickname.
Thrice Reckless Mad Saber: But they haven’t changed their nickname. It’s still just a bunch of beeps. Which means their dao name is definitely something very interesting and truly in the style of the times. Fellow daoist, I like your style!
beep beep beep~: Hello, little friends.
beep beep beep~: My thanks to Fellow Daoist Yellow Mountain for allowing me to join this group. Little friend Shuhang has spoken of it very highly.
beep beep beep~: Little friend Thrice Reckless, I also like your style. 👍
Su Clan's Seven: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Su Clan's Seven: ‘Little friend Thrice Reckless’, how long has it been since anyone called you that?
Su Clan's Seven: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
When the Bright Moon Appears: Fellow Daoist, you know Song Shuhang?
Thrice Reckless Mad Saber: You wanna go, little friend Seven?
Su Clan's Seven: Sure, let’s go. I’m ready any time. 😈
Yellow Mountain is very tired and wants to retire: ...
Yellow Mountain is very tired and wants to retire: Senior, it is this humble daoist who is honored to have you join the group.
True Monarch Northern River: !!!
Medicine Master: !!!
Fairy Lychee: !!!
Su Clan's Seven: !!!
Thrice Reckless Mad Saber: !!!
True Monarch Northern River: Haha, the day has come, Thrice Reckless. Senior Yellow Mountain finally added another senior, and you’re seeking death right in front of him.
Fifth Stage Monster Beast Doudou: You guys are ignoring the most important thing our new friend said. @ Tyrannical Song, Shuhang, you know this senior?
When the Bright Moon Appears: ...
When the Bright Moon Appears: In fact, I had already noticed this point.
Tyrannical Song: Mm-hm. Actually, most of you know him too, seniors.
Fifth Stage Monster Beast Doudou: ?
Thrice Reckless Mad Saber: ?
True Monarch Northern River: ?
Fifth Stage Monster Beast Doudou: Shuhang, you’re not going to tell us who it is?
Tyrannical Song: Sorry, but I’m not allowed to tell you. Senior [beep, beep~] thinks it’ll be more interesting to let you guys guess. Senior Yellow Mountain, please don’t tell them either.
Yellow Mountain is very tired and wants to retire: Your senior has already asked me not to say anything.
[Sage White is online.]
True Monarch Northern River: Lady Onion? Do you know?
Eighth Cultivator of True Virtue, Lady Onion: Nope, I can’t tell you either. To be honest, I wouldn’t even know where to start.
Sage White: Oh, Fellow Daoist [beep, beep~], you joined the group? @ Tyrannical Song, Shuhang, are you guys still here?
Sage White: Hm? Your name is censored again?
beep beep beep~: It’s not much of a game if you guys can just say my name.
Tyrannical Song: Yes, Senior White, we’re still upstairs. Actually, Senior [beeeep~], I don’t think telling the other seniors your name would be much of a hint.
beep beep beep~: Exactly, it wouldn’t be. Fellow Daoist White, we’ll be hanging out here for while, I think. Shuhang gave me something fun to play around with.
Sage White: Okay, I might come looking for you guys later.
beep beep beep~: 👍
Fifth Stage Monster Beast Doudou: Woof! Senior White, you know this guy too?
Sage White: Mm-hm, I’m very familiar with Fellow Daoist [beep, beep~].
Fairy Dongfang Six: Then, Senior, can you tell us who it is? 🙏
Young Master Phoenix Slayer: Tell us, tell us! 🙏
Fairy Enchanting Moonlight [Soft Feather]: Tell us, tell us! 🙏
I’m that little white crane at the edge of the Earth’s End: Wait! Shuhang, you guys are living together again? Are you in Jiangnan right now?
[Eternal Fire is very tired and wants to retire is online.]
Sage White: If Fellow Daoist [beep, beep~] wants it to be a guessing game, I won’t ruin his fun.
beep beep beep~: 👍
Sage White: 👍
Tyrant Flood Dragon wants to father a football team: Fellow Daoist White, this is simply bullying.
Sage White: They’ve already given you guys a lot of hints. It’s up to you to put them together.
I’m that little white crane at the edge of the Earth’s End: Senior, why did you block me? 😭 What did I do?
Tyrant Flood Dragon wants to father a football team: ...
True Monarch Fallout: ...
True Monarch Fallout: Actually, from the beginning I’ve been getting the feeling that something about this situation is very familiar...
True Monarch Northern River: Senior Sage Monarch Melon Eater?
beep beep beep~: Wrong. That guess is as cold as an ice crystal from the Frost World. 👎
Fairy Lychee: Senior Fallout, you’re also getting that feeling? However, I can’t put my finger on it...
Eternal Fire is very tired and wants to retire: Senior, could it be that you’re related in some way to the ‘Sinful Black Lotus’?
beep beep beep~: You could say that.
Eternal Fire is very tired and wants to retire: Then, could it be that you’re ‘that senior’ from back then?
True Monarch Fallout: Right, that’s what’s so familiar. Doesn’t this censoring remind you guys of when little friend Shuhang would talk about a certain senior back then?
Fairy Lychee: But would that senior really want to join our chat group?
beep beep beep~: Ha, as expected of a scholar. Fellow Daoist Eternal Fire guessed it instantly.
Beep beep beep: Little friends, you should trust your intuition more.
True Monarch Fallout: ...
Fairy Lychee: ...
Thrice Reckless Mad Saber: ...
Thrice Reckless Mad Saber: Little friend Shuhang, it isn’t kind to tease your seniors like this.
Tyrannical Song: No one’s teasing. It really is that senior.
Sage White: Mm-hm, Fellow Daoist Eternal Fire got it right away.
Thrice Reckless Mad Saber: F*ck! It’s really that senior!
Fifth Stage Monster Beast Doudou: Woof, woof! F*ck!
True Monarch Northern River: F*ck!
When the Bright Moon Appears: F*ck!
Young Master Phoenix Slayer: F*ck!
Palace Master Seven Lives Talisman: Heavens!
Su Clan’s Seven: Fellow Daoist Seven Lives, don’t break the chain. F*ck!
Yellow Mountain is very tired and wants to retire: ...
beep beep beep~: Hahahaha.
Eternal Fire is very tired and wants to retire: Senior, in fact, I’ve wanted to be able to thank you personally for a long time. If not for your guidance back then, our scholarly faction would have been completely wiped out. Who knows when or even if we would have been able to recover. Along with little friend Tyrannical Saber, we owe you an unimaginable debt.
Eternal Fire is very tired and wants to retire: If there’s anything you want from our scholarly faction in the future, just ask and it’s yours.
beep beep beep~: Even if what I want is your ‘world of the golden lotus’?
Eternal Fire is very tired and wants to retire: Cough, this...
Eternal Fire is very tired and wants to retire: Senior, even if I knew how to give that to you....
beep beep beep~: Haha, don’t worry, it’s just a little joke. In fact, Fellow Daoist Eternal Fire did me a big favor at that time by helping Shuhang wreck my rival’s plans. That guy was raging for days, it was great. Therefore, you can consider us even in this case.
beep beep beep~: However, I remember that you guys gave Shuhang a few paradisiacal lands not long ago as a reward. If you have any left, I wouldn’t mind taking a look at a few of them. I’m interested in finding something nice for my house.
Eternal Fire is very tired and wants to retire: I understand, Senior. I’ll set a few aside for you to look at when you have the time.
beep beep beep~: Good! Remember that I don’t want anything that might be contaminated with light of virtue or holy light. I’ll definitely give you something good in return when the time comes.
True Monarch Northern River: That’s right, little friend Shuhang mentioned once that Senior is an expert of the Netherworld Realm.
Xuan Nu Sect’s Skylark: Yeah, this guy should be a super big shot in the Netherworld Realm! Yo, [beep, beep, beep~], you joined the group? Long time, no see!
Xuan Nu Sect’s Skylark: Huh? Did that get censored?
beep beep beep~: Yo, Fellow Daoist Skylark, I’m pleased you remember me. Let’s have a chat in private. 😎
Xuan Nu Sect’s Skylark: It’s about that guy, right? Sure, let’s chat. I’d also be happy to help you wreck that guy’s plans. Oh, and maybe Senior could help me convince little friend Shuhang to let me borrow a certain something for a little while...? 😈😈😈
beep beep beep~: Shuhang, you might as well let her borrow it. The entire universe has already experienced the pain of childbirth once. It won’t be any worse a second time. Besides, you all have some forewarning now, so you can all avoid it.
Xuan Nu Sect’s Skylark: Hehe. 😈😈😈
Tyrannical Song: No, it’s definitely just as bad the second time! Senior Skylark, have you really not given up on that idea? I don’t think it’ll be that exciting, actually. Since everyone’s experienced it once, everyone already knows what to expect, so wouldn’t it just be tiresome the second time?
Xuan Nu Sect’s Skylark: That’s the beauty of it. If it was little friend Tyrannical Scholar, then yeah, everyone is already terrified you’ll do it again and it would be boring. But no one is expecting someone else to have the Sage’s eye, so it’ll be a complete surprise if I do it too. Hehe, it’s very exciting to think about. I’ll come by in a few days to borrow it, okay?
Dharma King Creation: No, no, I think little friend Shuhang has a point here.
True Monarch Northern River: Senior Skylark, have mercy!
Tyrannical Song: To be honest, I think if you show up and ask for it, the Sage’s eye will go to you whether I want it to or not. It kind of has a mind of its own. If you’re going to come over, then I ask Senior to at least warn the group before you go do your tribulation this time.
Xuan Nu Sect’s Skylark: Deal! Of course I was going to warn you guys anyway. 😈😈😈😈😈
Young Master Phoenix Slayer: Song Shuhang, you f*cking sellout!
Fifth Stage Monster Beast Doudou: Woof! Tyrannical Scholar, our friendship is over. 👋
Thrice Reckless Mad Saber: Senior Yellow Mountain, I really feel like ever since you added little friend Shuhang, the style of the group has gotten worse and worse. You should just kick him.
Yellow Mountain is very tired and wants to retire: ...
Thrice Reckless Mad Saber: By the way, Senior Skylark, have you actually met this senior?
Xuan Nu Sect’s Skylark: Mm-hm, kind of. It was when little friend Shuhang got dragged into my Eighth Stage Demonic Tribulation. Senior [beep, beep~] helped out a bit after, since [beep, beep, beep~].
Xuan Nu Sect’s Skylark: Ok, I get it! Senior, I really feel like this censoring trick is unfair. I wasn’t even going to say that much.
beep beep beep~: Hehe.
When the Bright Moon Appears: Sigh...little friend Shuhang, I truly envy you.
Tyrannical Song: Senior [beep~] also helped me get our magical treasures completed before my Fifth Stage tribulation started. We got it done just in time. 😭
Tyrannical Song: Also, @ Phoenix Saber Jasmine, @ Seventh Cultivator of True Virtue, thank you again, seniors, for your help back then. 🙇♂️
beep beep beep~: Oh, that’s right. @ Phoenix Saber Jasmine, this is Fairy Sixth Cultivator of True Virtue, right? Your forging technique isn’t bad. I’m very pleased with the magical treasures you made for me. If you need another favor in the future, you can trade for it with more forging. 👍
Phoenix Saber Jasmine: Thank you, Senior, your offer is very generous. However, I’m only accepting cash right now.
beep beep beep~: No problem. If I need something, I’ll definitely pay you well. 😎
beep beep beep~: Oh, and while I’m at it—@ Thrice Reckless Mad Saber, little friend Thrice Reckless, that picture you took in the Demonic Tribulation Realm was very amusing, and it gave me a great chance to f*ck with my rival. Can you send me a copy of it?
Thrice Reckless Mad Saber: Senior, I knew you were a true man of culture! I uploaded that photo to the group back then. It should still be there if you look for it.
beep beep beep~: Mm-hm, Shuhang found it for me. As expected, it’s truly excellent.
Sage White: Eh? When did you guys go play around in the Demonic Tribulation Realm? Why don’t I have any memory of it?
Tyrannical Song: Huh? I didn’t tell you about it? That’s where we went to test the heavenly tribulation bombs, since Senior [beep, beep~] was willing to help out. Wait, I’ll send you that picture too.
Sage White: Oh, so it was back then. No wonder I don’t remember it. Mm-hm, this photo of Thrice Reckless is pretty cool. The composition is good, the pose is good, and the timing was perfect. It must have been Fellow Daoist Lychee who took it, right?
Fairy Lychee: Yes, it was! Thank you, Senior White! :soft_feather_shy:
Fairy Enchanting Moonlight [Soft Feather]: Senior Lychee’s photography skills are really amazing. Out of everyone, Senior Thrice Reckless is the only one who got a good picture. :bow_down:
Sage White: It sounds like you guys had a lot of fun. It’s too bad I couldn’t be there.
Tyrannical Song: Senior White, weren’t you also having fun over in the Heavenly Tribulation Realm?
Sage White: Not really. By that time, it had gotten a bit boring.
beep beep beep~: Unfortunately, it isn’t easy for me to arrange field trips to the Demonic Tribulation Realm, or I could take you to play around in there.
Sage White: That’s fine. We can just wait until the next time Shuhang ascends and I can try to hitch a ride then.
beep beep beep~: Haha, sure, I’ll think of a way to make sure he goes to the right place when the time comes.
Tyrannical Song: 😭 Seniors, can you please not plant those kinds of flags?
beep beep beep~: Who’s planting flags? I’m directly saying that’s what’s going to happen.
Young Master Phoenix Slayer: Seniors, if I could interject, I have a few questions. Shuhang, didn’t you say the guy who attacked the scholarly faction was the same one corrupting people with Netherworld energy, like Senior Skylark—and that guy is the [beep, beep, beep~]? Senior Beep, are you really that guy’s rival?
Tyrannical Song: Yeah, Senior [beep, beep~] is...an existence no weaker than that guy.
beep beep beep~: How else do you think I could bring you guys in and out of the Demonic Tribulation Realm so casually? To answer your question, little kitty cat, there’s no one in this universe who could be that guy’s rival other than me.
Young Master Phoenix Slayer: Then, if you don’t mind me asking, Senior, why would someone as strong as you join our chat group?
beep beep beep~: Finally, you guys are asking the right questions.
Young Master Phoenix Slayer: 😳
beep beep beep~: First of all, Shuhang reminded me there are a few fellow daoists in this group that I had already been meaning to contact. It’s more convenient to have a way of contacting all of you at once.
Xuan Nu Sect’s Skylark: Hehe. 😈😈😈
beep beep beep~: However, he also told me about your group’s custom of “equivalent exchange”, and how the seniors will occasionally hand out little tasks and rewards to help out the juniors. I find this very interesting! It turns out the custom of this group suits my tastes very much. In fact, little friend Shuhang and I have had this kind of relationship for a long time...although he still hasn’t managed to tell me a single satisfactory joke as payment for any favors. 😒
Tyrannical Song: Haha...
beep beep beep~: Therefore, I would like to extend this relationship to all of you. If I need something in the main world that’s inconvenient for me to get, I might ask for it in the group. Of course, I’ll reward you accordingly, as anything I might be interested in won’t be easy to retrieve.
beep beep beep~: Likewise, you’re all free to ask me for a favor, but you’ll have to bring me something fun or interesting in return, and it’s better if it’s something of a relatively high level. I also accept jokes as payment, but I’ll be the one to decide how many or if they’re even good enough.
beep beep beep~: I’ll remind you all that the joke Fellow Daoist Yellow Mountain told me back then was only barely a pass, and I was being very generous with my scoring.
True Monarch Northern River: Senior, could you give an example of something you might find “fun or interesting”? That way, we’ll be less likely to waste your time with something that isn’t good enough.
beep beep beep~: That’s reasonable. Let’s put it this way...if it’s something you think would satisfy Fellow Daoist White, there’s a good chance I’ll also be interested in it. Our tastes are very similar.
beep beep beep~: Otherwise, you could always ask Shuhang. He’s got a pretty good idea what I’ll be interested in by now.
Tyrannical Song: Cannons.
Tyrannical Song: Senior Northern River, if you have some kind of magical cannon, that’s something Senior [beep, beep~] would like. The bigger and more powerful, the better.
beep beep beep~: Haha, that’s true, I do collect cannons. However, my collection is very large. It might be difficult to find one that I haven’t seen before.
When the Bright Moon Appears: Senior, can we make a request right now? I have several rare magical treasures here to use as payment.
When the Bright Moon Appears: However, I only want to know if Senior thinks it’s even possible to help me. If it’s impossible, I won’t bother Senior any further.
Eighth Cultivator of True Virtue, Lady Onion: Senior [beep, beep~], do you have any way to get my root free of the enlightenment stone?
beep beep beep~: Sure, but how are you going to pay for it? Don’t even think about trying to pay me in jokes. I’m not accepting any jokes from you.
Eighth Cultivator of True Virtue, Lady Onion: 😢 Nevermind, Senior, I’ll stay this way for now.
When the Bright Moon Appears: Senior, could it be that even someone as strong as you can’t notice me? 😭
True Monarch Northern River: Oh? Scholar, when did you come online? I almost didn’t notice you.
When the Bright Moon Appears: I have been here the whole time.
beep beep beep~: Hmm?
beep beep beep~: Fellow Daoist When the Bright Moon Appears, what is it you want to ask of me?
When the Bright Moon Appears: Senior, you did notice me after all. 😭😭😭
When the Bright Moon Appears: Senior, I would like to ask if you know of any way for me to strengthen my ‘presence’. Or, at the very least, some way to make it so others will remember my name?
beep beep beep~: Practice diligently, and when you reach the Eighth Stage and show your divinity in front of the masses, no one will be able to forget your name. That effect lasts for a whole year, so don’t waste it!
When the Bright Moon Appears: 😭😭😭 Is there really no hope for me...?
beep beep beep~: Haha, I’m just kidding. Shuhang says this ‘lack of presence’ is the result of a cultivation technique, is that right?
When the Bright Moon Appears: Yes, that’s right.
beep beep beep~: Unfortunately, I don’t have a solution to your problem, because I’ve never heard of a cultivation technique with this kind of effect before. However, I’d be willing to look into it for you.
When the Bright Moon Appears: Thank you, Senior!
When the Bright Moon Appears: I’ll send you a list of those treasures. You can choose as many as you think is fair, and if you don’t like any of them, I still have others you might find suitable.
beep beep beep~: Don’t bother, I’m not interested in your treasures.
beep beep beep~: What I want is your cultivation technique.
When the Bright Moon Appears: ...
beep beep beep~: I’m going to need to have a good understanding of that cultivation technique anyway, if you want me to research a solution to your presence problem. I’m also very interested in this technique that can even influence a special existence like me. How about it? Are you willing to trade me that technique?
When the Bright Moon Appears: Yes, I’m willing!
beep beep beep~: Great! Send me your coordinates. I’ll drop by in a couple days. 👍
◁◁ Chapter 4: Senior Sober Scholar’s OP cultivation technique
Characters: White Two, Song Shuhang, Lady Onion, Senior White, Nine Provinces Number One Group
Rating: T
A certain mysterious senior joins the chat group. Oh, and so does Lady Onion. Set during some vague time after ~chapter 1592
Chapter 5: Chat Log Only Extra
[System notification: A welcome to ‘Lady Onion’ who just joined the ‘Nine Provinces Number One Group’.]
[System notification: A welcome to ‘beep beep beep’ who just joined the ‘Nine Provinces Number One Group’.]
True Monarch Northern River: Eh, someone new has joined the group? Oh, it’s Lady Onion. Haha, Lady Onion, did little friend Shuhang finally get you your own phone? 😉
Fairy Lychee: Wow, two at once? Lately, we’ve really had a lot of people joining the group. Hello, Lady Onion! Welcome to the group. 😁
Phoenix Saber Jasmine: Oh, Eighth Cultivator of True Virtue, you’re also here? Wait, I’ll be sending you a friend request.
Eighth Cultivator of True Virtue, Lady Onion: Thank you, Senior Yellow Mountain, for letting me join the group. Hello, everyone! Hehe, replying to Senior Northern River, this little onion has stolen Shuhang’s phone and now it’s mine to do with as I please. You’ll never see him in here again~ 😈
True Monarch Northern River: Great job, Lady Onion! You did well. 👍
Young Master Phoenix Slayer: You did well +1.
Fairy Lychee: You did well +2.
Thrice Reckless Mad Saber: You did well +3.
Fifth Stage Great Monster Doudou: You did well +4.
Great Master Profound Principle: 👍
Tyrannical Song: Lady Onion, stop talking nonsense. Great Master, when did I ever wrong you?
Young Master Phoenix Slayer: Shuhang, when have you not wronged every single person in this group?
Great Master Profound Principle: 😌🙏
[Tyrant Flood Dragon wants to father a football team is online.]
Tyrannical Song: 👋 Senior Phoenix Slayer, our friendship is over.
Fairy Enchanting Moonlight [Soft Feather]: 🤣🤣🤣 Senior Song, you’re always so popular.
Thrice Reckless Mad Saber: Huh, who’s this other fellow daoist? Their name is just a bunch of beeps?
Thrice Reckless Mad Saber: Did your name get censored? Your dao name’s just a bunch of cursing?
True Monarch Northern River: I think that this shouldn’t be a dao name but just a nickname.
Thrice Reckless Mad Saber: But they haven’t changed their nickname. It’s still just a bunch of beeps. Which means their dao name is definitely something very interesting and truly in the style of the times. Fellow daoist, I like your style!
beep beep beep~: Hello, little friends.
beep beep beep~: My thanks to Fellow Daoist Yellow Mountain for allowing me to join this group. Little friend Shuhang has spoken of it very highly.
beep beep beep~: Little friend Thrice Reckless, I also like your style. 👍
Su Clan's Seven: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Su Clan's Seven: ‘Little friend Thrice Reckless’, how long has it been since anyone called you that?
Su Clan's Seven: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
When the Bright Moon Appears: Fellow Daoist, you know Song Shuhang?
Thrice Reckless Mad Saber: You wanna go, little friend Seven?
Su Clan's Seven: Sure, let’s go. I’m ready any time. 😈
Yellow Mountain is very tired and wants to retire: ...
Yellow Mountain is very tired and wants to retire: Senior, it is this humble daoist who is honored to have you join the group.
True Monarch Northern River: !!!
Medicine Master: !!!
Fairy Lychee: !!!
Su Clan's Seven: !!!
Thrice Reckless Mad Saber: !!!
True Monarch Northern River: Haha, the day has come, Thrice Reckless. Senior Yellow Mountain finally added another senior, and you’re seeking death right in front of him.
Fifth Stage Monster Beast Doudou: You guys are ignoring the most important thing our new friend said. @ Tyrannical Song, Shuhang, you know this senior?
When the Bright Moon Appears: ...
When the Bright Moon Appears: In fact, I had already noticed this point.
Tyrannical Song: Mm-hm. Actually, most of you know him too, seniors.
Fifth Stage Monster Beast Doudou: ?
Thrice Reckless Mad Saber: ?
True Monarch Northern River: ?
Fifth Stage Monster Beast Doudou: Shuhang, you’re not going to tell us who it is?
Tyrannical Song: Sorry, but I’m not allowed to tell you. Senior [beep, beep~] thinks it’ll be more interesting to let you guys guess. Senior Yellow Mountain, please don’t tell them either.
Yellow Mountain is very tired and wants to retire: Your senior has already asked me not to say anything.
[Sage White is online.]
True Monarch Northern River: Lady Onion? Do you know?
Eighth Cultivator of True Virtue, Lady Onion: Nope, I can’t tell you either. To be honest, I wouldn’t even know where to start.
Sage White: Oh, Fellow Daoist [beep, beep~], you joined the group? @ Tyrannical Song, Shuhang, are you guys still here?
Sage White: Hm? Your name is censored again?
beep beep beep~: It’s not much of a game if you guys can just say my name.
Tyrannical Song: Yes, Senior White, we’re still upstairs. Actually, Senior [beeeep~], I don’t think telling the other seniors your name would be much of a hint.
beep beep beep~: Exactly, it wouldn’t be. Fellow Daoist White, we’ll be hanging out here for while, I think. Shuhang gave me something fun to play around with.
Sage White: Okay, I might come looking for you guys later.
beep beep beep~: 👍
Fifth Stage Monster Beast Doudou: Woof! Senior White, you know this guy too?
Sage White: Mm-hm, I’m very familiar with Fellow Daoist [beep, beep~].
Fairy Dongfang Six: Then, Senior, can you tell us who it is? 🙏
Young Master Phoenix Slayer: Tell us, tell us! 🙏
Fairy Enchanting Moonlight [Soft Feather]: Tell us, tell us! 🙏
I’m that little white crane at the edge of the Earth’s End: Wait! Shuhang, you guys are living together again? Are you in Jiangnan right now?
[Eternal Fire is very tired and wants to retire is online.]
Sage White: If Fellow Daoist [beep, beep~] wants it to be a guessing game, I won’t ruin his fun.
beep beep beep~: 👍
Sage White: 👍
Tyrant Flood Dragon wants to father a football team: Fellow Daoist White, this is simply bullying.
Sage White: They’ve already given you guys a lot of hints. It’s up to you to put them together.
I’m that little white crane at the edge of the Earth’s End: Senior, why did you block me? 😭 What did I do?
Tyrant Flood Dragon wants to father a football team: ...
True Monarch Fallout: ...
True Monarch Fallout: Actually, from the beginning I’ve been getting the feeling that something about this situation is very familiar...
True Monarch Northern River: Senior Sage Monarch Melon Eater?
beep beep beep~: Wrong. That guess is as cold as an ice crystal from the Frost World. 👎
Fairy Lychee: Senior Fallout, you’re also getting that feeling? However, I can’t put my finger on it...
Eternal Fire is very tired and wants to retire: Senior, could it be that you’re related in some way to the ‘Sinful Black Lotus’?
beep beep beep~: You could say that.
Eternal Fire is very tired and wants to retire: Then, could it be that you’re ‘that senior’ from back then?
True Monarch Fallout: Right, that’s what’s so familiar. Doesn’t this censoring remind you guys of when little friend Shuhang would talk about a certain senior back then?
Fairy Lychee: But would that senior really want to join our chat group?
beep beep beep~: Ha, as expected of a scholar. Fellow Daoist Eternal Fire guessed it instantly.
Beep beep beep: Little friends, you should trust your intuition more.
True Monarch Fallout: ...
Fairy Lychee: ...
Thrice Reckless Mad Saber: ...
Thrice Reckless Mad Saber: Little friend Shuhang, it isn’t kind to tease your seniors like this.
Tyrannical Song: No one’s teasing. It really is that senior.
Sage White: Mm-hm, Fellow Daoist Eternal Fire got it right away.
Thrice Reckless Mad Saber: F*ck! It’s really that senior!
Fifth Stage Monster Beast Doudou: Woof, woof! F*ck!
True Monarch Northern River: F*ck!
When the Bright Moon Appears: F*ck!
Young Master Phoenix Slayer: F*ck!
Palace Master Seven Lives Talisman: Heavens!
Su Clan’s Seven: Fellow Daoist Seven Lives, don’t break the chain. F*ck!
Yellow Mountain is very tired and wants to retire: ...
beep beep beep~: Hahahaha.
Eternal Fire is very tired and wants to retire: Senior, in fact, I’ve wanted to be able to thank you personally for a long time. If not for your guidance back then, our scholarly faction would have been completely wiped out. Who knows when or even if we would have been able to recover. Along with little friend Tyrannical Saber, we owe you an unimaginable debt.
Eternal Fire is very tired and wants to retire: If there’s anything you want from our scholarly faction in the future, just ask and it’s yours.
beep beep beep~: Even if what I want is your ‘world of the golden lotus’?
Eternal Fire is very tired and wants to retire: Cough, this...
Eternal Fire is very tired and wants to retire: Senior, even if I knew how to give that to you....
beep beep beep~: Haha, don’t worry, it’s just a little joke. In fact, Fellow Daoist Eternal Fire did me a big favor at that time by helping Shuhang wreck my rival’s plans. That guy was raging for days, it was great. Therefore, you can consider us even in this case.
beep beep beep~: However, I remember that you guys gave Shuhang a few paradisiacal lands not long ago as a reward. If you have any left, I wouldn’t mind taking a look at a few of them. I’m interested in finding something nice for my house.
Eternal Fire is very tired and wants to retire: I understand, Senior. I’ll set a few aside for you to look at when you have the time.
beep beep beep~: Good! Remember that I don’t want anything that might be contaminated with light of virtue or holy light. I’ll definitely give you something good in return when the time comes.
True Monarch Northern River: That’s right, little friend Shuhang mentioned once that Senior is an expert of the Netherworld Realm.
Xuan Nu Sect’s Skylark: Yeah, this guy should be a super big shot in the Netherworld Realm! Yo, [beep, beep, beep~], you joined the group? Long time, no see!
Xuan Nu Sect’s Skylark: Huh? Did that get censored?
beep beep beep~: Yo, Fellow Daoist Skylark, I’m pleased you remember me. Let’s have a chat in private. 😎
Xuan Nu Sect’s Skylark: It’s about that guy, right? Sure, let’s chat. I’d also be happy to help you wreck that guy’s plans. Oh, and maybe Senior could help me convince little friend Shuhang to let me borrow a certain something for a little while...? 😈😈😈
beep beep beep~: Shuhang, you might as well let her borrow it. The entire universe has already experienced the pain of childbirth once. It won’t be any worse a second time. Besides, you all have some forewarning now, so you can all avoid it.
Xuan Nu Sect’s Skylark: Hehe. 😈😈😈
Tyrannical Song: No, it’s definitely just as bad the second time! Senior Skylark, have you really not given up on that idea? I don’t think it’ll be that exciting, actually. Since everyone’s experienced it once, everyone already knows what to expect, so wouldn’t it just be tiresome the second time?
Xuan Nu Sect’s Skylark: That’s the beauty of it. If it was little friend Tyrannical Scholar, then yeah, everyone is already terrified you’ll do it again and it would be boring. But no one is expecting someone else to have the Sage’s eye, so it’ll be a complete surprise if I do it too. Hehe, it’s very exciting to think about. I’ll come by in a few days to borrow it, okay?
Dharma King Creation: No, no, I think little friend Shuhang has a point here.
True Monarch Northern River: Senior Skylark, have mercy!
Tyrannical Song: To be honest, I think if you show up and ask for it, the Sage’s eye will go to you whether I want it to or not. It kind of has a mind of its own. If you’re going to come over, then I ask Senior to at least warn the group before you go do your tribulation this time.
Xuan Nu Sect’s Skylark: Deal! Of course I was going to warn you guys anyway. 😈😈😈😈😈
Young Master Phoenix Slayer: Song Shuhang, you f*cking sellout!
Fifth Stage Monster Beast Doudou: Woof! Tyrannical Scholar, our friendship is over. 👋
Thrice Reckless Mad Saber: Senior Yellow Mountain, I really feel like ever since you added little friend Shuhang, the style of the group has gotten worse and worse. You should just kick him.
Yellow Mountain is very tired and wants to retire: ...
Thrice Reckless Mad Saber: By the way, Senior Skylark, have you actually met this senior?
Xuan Nu Sect’s Skylark: Mm-hm, kind of. It was when little friend Shuhang got dragged into my Eighth Stage Demonic Tribulation. Senior [beep, beep~] helped out a bit after, since [beep, beep, beep~].
Xuan Nu Sect’s Skylark: Ok, I get it! Senior, I really feel like this censoring trick is unfair. I wasn’t even going to say that much.
beep beep beep~: Hehe.
When the Bright Moon Appears: Sigh...little friend Shuhang, I truly envy you.
Tyrannical Song: Senior [beep~] also helped me get our magical treasures completed before my Fifth Stage tribulation started. We got it done just in time. 😭
Tyrannical Song: Also, @ Phoenix Saber Jasmine, @ Seventh Cultivator of True Virtue, thank you again, seniors, for your help back then. 🙇♂️
beep beep beep~: Oh, that’s right. @ Phoenix Saber Jasmine, this is Fairy Sixth Cultivator of True Virtue, right? Your forging technique isn’t bad. I’m very pleased with the magical treasures you made for me. If you need another favor in the future, you can trade for it with more forging. 👍
Phoenix Saber Jasmine: Thank you, Senior, your offer is very generous. However, I’m only accepting cash right now.
beep beep beep~: No problem. If I need something, I’ll definitely pay you well. 😎
beep beep beep~: Oh, and while I’m at it—@ Thrice Reckless Mad Saber, little friend Thrice Reckless, that picture you took in the Demonic Tribulation Realm was very amusing, and it gave me a great chance to f*ck with my rival. Can you send me a copy of it?
Thrice Reckless Mad Saber: Senior, I knew you were a true man of culture! I uploaded that photo to the group back then. It should still be there if you look for it.
beep beep beep~: Mm-hm, Shuhang found it for me. As expected, it’s truly excellent.
Sage White: Eh? When did you guys go play around in the Demonic Tribulation Realm? Why don’t I have any memory of it?
Tyrannical Song: Huh? I didn’t tell you about it? That’s where we went to test the heavenly tribulation bombs, since Senior [beep, beep~] was willing to help out. Wait, I’ll send you that picture too.
Sage White: Oh, so it was back then. No wonder I don’t remember it. Mm-hm, this photo of Thrice Reckless is pretty cool. The composition is good, the pose is good, and the timing was perfect. It must have been Fellow Daoist Lychee who took it, right?
Fairy Lychee: Yes, it was! Thank you, Senior White! :soft_feather_shy:
Fairy Enchanting Moonlight [Soft Feather]: Senior Lychee’s photography skills are really amazing. Out of everyone, Senior Thrice Reckless is the only one who got a good picture. :bow_down:
Sage White: It sounds like you guys had a lot of fun. It’s too bad I couldn’t be there.
Tyrannical Song: Senior White, weren’t you also having fun over in the Heavenly Tribulation Realm?
Sage White: Not really. By that time, it had gotten a bit boring.
beep beep beep~: Unfortunately, it isn’t easy for me to arrange field trips to the Demonic Tribulation Realm, or I could take you to play around in there.
Sage White: That’s fine. We can just wait until the next time Shuhang ascends and I can try to hitch a ride then.
beep beep beep~: Haha, sure, I’ll think of a way to make sure he goes to the right place when the time comes.
Tyrannical Song: 😭 Seniors, can you please not plant those kinds of flags?
beep beep beep~: Who’s planting flags? I’m directly saying that’s what’s going to happen.
Young Master Phoenix Slayer: Seniors, if I could interject, I have a few questions. Shuhang, didn’t you say the guy who attacked the scholarly faction was the same one corrupting people with Netherworld energy, like Senior Skylark—and that guy is the [beep, beep, beep~]? Senior Beep, are you really that guy’s rival?
Tyrannical Song: Yeah, Senior [beep, beep~] is...an existence no weaker than that guy.
beep beep beep~: How else do you think I could bring you guys in and out of the Demonic Tribulation Realm so casually? To answer your question, little kitty cat, there’s no one in this universe who could be that guy’s rival other than me.
Young Master Phoenix Slayer: Then, if you don’t mind me asking, Senior, why would someone as strong as you join our chat group?
beep beep beep~: Finally, you guys are asking the right questions.
Young Master Phoenix Slayer: 😳
beep beep beep~: First of all, Shuhang reminded me there are a few fellow daoists in this group that I had already been meaning to contact. It’s more convenient to have a way of contacting all of you at once.
Xuan Nu Sect’s Skylark: Hehe. 😈😈😈
beep beep beep~: However, he also told me about your group’s custom of “equivalent exchange”, and how the seniors will occasionally hand out little tasks and rewards to help out the juniors. I find this very interesting! It turns out the custom of this group suits my tastes very much. In fact, little friend Shuhang and I have had this kind of relationship for a long time...although he still hasn’t managed to tell me a single satisfactory joke as payment for any favors. 😒
Tyrannical Song: Haha...
beep beep beep~: Therefore, I would like to extend this relationship to all of you. If I need something in the main world that’s inconvenient for me to get, I might ask for it in the group. Of course, I’ll reward you accordingly, as anything I might be interested in won’t be easy to retrieve.
beep beep beep~: Likewise, you’re all free to ask me for a favor, but you’ll have to bring me something fun or interesting in return, and it’s better if it’s something of a relatively high level. I also accept jokes as payment, but I’ll be the one to decide how many or if they’re even good enough.
beep beep beep~: I’ll remind you all that the joke Fellow Daoist Yellow Mountain told me back then was only barely a pass, and I was being very generous with my scoring.
True Monarch Northern River: Senior, could you give an example of something you might find “fun or interesting”? That way, we’ll be less likely to waste your time with something that isn’t good enough.
beep beep beep~: That’s reasonable. Let’s put it this way...if it’s something you think would satisfy Fellow Daoist White, there’s a good chance I’ll also be interested in it. Our tastes are very similar.
beep beep beep~: Otherwise, you could always ask Shuhang. He’s got a pretty good idea what I’ll be interested in by now.
Tyrannical Song: Cannons.
Tyrannical Song: Senior Northern River, if you have some kind of magical cannon, that’s something Senior [beep, beep~] would like. The bigger and more powerful, the better.
beep beep beep~: Haha, that’s true, I do collect cannons. However, my collection is very large. It might be difficult to find one that I haven’t seen before.
When the Bright Moon Appears: Senior, can we make a request right now? I have several rare magical treasures here to use as payment.
When the Bright Moon Appears: However, I only want to know if Senior thinks it’s even possible to help me. If it’s impossible, I won’t bother Senior any further.
Eighth Cultivator of True Virtue, Lady Onion: Senior [beep, beep~], do you have any way to get my root free of the enlightenment stone?
beep beep beep~: Sure, but how are you going to pay for it? Don’t even think about trying to pay me in jokes. I’m not accepting any jokes from you.
Eighth Cultivator of True Virtue, Lady Onion: 😢 Nevermind, Senior, I’ll stay this way for now.
When the Bright Moon Appears: Senior, could it be that even someone as strong as you can’t notice me? 😭
True Monarch Northern River: Oh? Scholar, when did you come online? I almost didn’t notice you.
When the Bright Moon Appears: I have been here the whole time.
beep beep beep~: Hmm?
beep beep beep~: Fellow Daoist When the Bright Moon Appears, what is it you want to ask of me?
When the Bright Moon Appears: Senior, you did notice me after all. 😭😭😭
When the Bright Moon Appears: Senior, I would like to ask if you know of any way for me to strengthen my ‘presence’. Or, at the very least, some way to make it so others will remember my name?
beep beep beep~: Practice diligently, and when you reach the Eighth Stage and show your divinity in front of the masses, no one will be able to forget your name. That effect lasts for a whole year, so don’t waste it!
When the Bright Moon Appears: 😭😭😭 Is there really no hope for me...?
beep beep beep~: Haha, I’m just kidding. Shuhang says this ‘lack of presence’ is the result of a cultivation technique, is that right?
When the Bright Moon Appears: Yes, that’s right.
beep beep beep~: Unfortunately, I don’t have a solution to your problem, because I’ve never heard of a cultivation technique with this kind of effect before. However, I’d be willing to look into it for you.
When the Bright Moon Appears: Thank you, Senior!
When the Bright Moon Appears: I’ll send you a list of those treasures. You can choose as many as you think is fair, and if you don’t like any of them, I still have others you might find suitable.
beep beep beep~: Don’t bother, I’m not interested in your treasures.
beep beep beep~: What I want is your cultivation technique.
When the Bright Moon Appears: ...
beep beep beep~: I’m going to need to have a good understanding of that cultivation technique anyway, if you want me to research a solution to your presence problem. I’m also very interested in this technique that can even influence a special existence like me. How about it? Are you willing to trade me that technique?
When the Bright Moon Appears: Yes, I’m willing!
beep beep beep~: Great! Send me your coordinates. I’ll drop by in a couple days. 👍